Tag: this

bonehandledknife:

anneapocalypse:

Being an active participant in fandom requires a certain level of self-regulating in order to be a healthy activity. It requires the ability to say “Not for me,” or “Not today,” and walk away.

We can have conversations about patterns we see in fanworks. We can discuss how we portray characters and relationships, how to effectively convey what we want to in writing, how to sensitively approach representations of marginalized characters. But having those conversations productively requires that we approach each other in good faith, and it requires the ability to self-regulate–including recognizing that often there is no hard line, no black and white answer, and we won’t always come to the same conclusions.

It requires an understanding up front that eliminating all fanworks we don’t care for is not the end goal of these conversations.

I’ll give a personal example. There is a ship that deeply, viscerally upsets me in like 95% of its iterations. I can explain why I don’t like it if asked. I’ve written about why I don’t think it’s handled well in canon.

And if I wanted to–if I wanted to–I could make a very convincing-sounding argument for why that ship is objectively bad and wrong and no one should ship it. Not because that’s objectively right, mind you, but because I’m good at arguing. I could slap that together in like… ten minutes, probably.

I don’t do that. If I vent about it on my own blog, it’s as infrequently as I can manage, because I do my best to avoid the content that upsets me. I don’t seek it out to get riled up about it. I don’t seek out content that upsets me, read it in its entirety, and then leave angry comments and send my friends to harass the author. I don’t choose a high-profile writer for the content I don’t like and engage in a targeted campaign of harassment against them all while claiming to be addressing a general problem.

If you are deliberately seeking out content that you know will upset you and reading it anyway and then feeling that you need to take those bad feelings out on the creator, you are not taking care of yourself. You are not engaging in healthy behavior or productive coping mechanisms. You are not keeping yourself safe, and you are not helping to make fandom safer for others. You are not engaging in good faith.

If you find that you do this and you can’t seem to stop, you may need to take some kind of further steps up to and including taking a break from fandom. I’m serious. I’ve taken breaks myself for that exact reason. There’s no shame in it. 

Please monitor your own ability to self-regulate. Please actively evaluate whether or not you are engaging in healthy and productive behavior, for yourself and for others.

If you are deliberately seeking out content that you know will upset you and reading it anyway and then feeling that you need to take those bad feelings out on the creator, you are not taking care of yourself. 

suzie-guru:

theadventureto-be:

johns-potato:

featherleaf:

the-laughofthemedusa:

scarimor:

westwoodandthebeegees:

devilpetal:

zorobro:

transhumanisticpanspermia:

I love everything about this photoset

The lack of condescension in cultural sharing

The nonsexualization

The contextual foreignness of firm breasts in a society that doesn’t use bras

This is funny and charming

By far one of my favorite posts.

I love that across cultures, every woman grabs their boobs.

My friend is an army wife and spent some time with her husband on his Pacific posting. One day the locals invited the families from the British base for a big get-together. It was going really well but after a few hours the British women noticed that a lot of the local babies were crying, so my friend asked one of the mothers if there was something wrong, like a bug going round or something. The mother replied,

“Oh no, they’re just very hungry.”

So my friend asked, “Why don’t you feed them?”

And the mother said, “We will when you’ve gone. We use our breasts to feed them and we don’t want to embarrass you.”

And my shocked friend said, “But we do that too!”

So all the British mothers who had babies sat down and whipped out their boobs to feed them (whether they were hungry or not) and the relieved local mothers then did the same.

Two things:

– because western ladies usually cover their boobs the local ladies weren’t sure whether western women use boobs for what they’re supposed to be for

– women everywhere are considerate of other women

I also really love this photo set because, far too often, we only see pictures of African women as anthropological archetypes. They are treated like exhibits to be studied, similar to exotic animals or landscapes, rather than human beings.
I LOVE these pictures, because here we have women of two different cultures laughing and talking and playing around. You can see their personalities shining through and I LOVE IT

Women 🙌🏾

this is one of those photosets that fills me with the rocket-fuel equivalent of hope and optimism

Reblogging this beautiful post before it becomes a tumblr crime

That last comment broke my heart, honestly. This has always been one of my favorite photo sets because of everything it presents: confidence, curiosity, personalities shining through the lens, positive interactions between cultures––

––and now it’s going to be goddamn BANNED because of “female presenting nipples.” 

You’re inflicting so much harm with your decision, @staff and @support. You’re erasing so much more than you could ever realize. 

This photoset is beautiful because it presents bodies as what they are – not objects solely for titillation, but as something everybody across the world has, and that they hold the potential of positive connection. 

Shame on you, @staff. Shame on you. 

ignore this question if it’s too personal but i was wondering… how do you deal with aging, growing old and still being part of fandoms? Im growing older and i feel like every year i have a less and less like… ’right’ to be in fandoms. That i’m to old compared to others etc this scares me shitless tbh

sacrificethemtothesquid:

barbex:

hollyand-writes:

jadesabre301:

@pearwaldorf​ added:

thievinghippo:

(First, I’m sorry this took so long to answer, anon! Life has been a bit overwhelming the last couple of months.)

I’m happy to delve into this a bit. Aging and such is something I think people need to talk about. Otherwise it can be scary sometimes. So for anyone curious, I will be turning 40 on my next birthday. 

A little background. I’ve been part of fandom since I was 24 years old. Back then, fandom was a little different and instead of tolerating older fans, we embraced them. I remember going to a Harry Potter conference in 2007. I went to a fanfiction panel that had five women on it, all in their 40s and 50s. They were so happy and confident in their place in fandom and their friendships. It was absolutely beautiful to see.

I remember thinking I hope that’s me some day. Now, of course, things are different. I regularly see posts making fun of people over a certain age for still being in fandom. 

We’re all going to get old some day. There’s no stopping that. But getting older doesn’t mean you suddenly lose interest in the things you love. You might have less time to geek out about them, but you’re not gonna lose interest. 

I think the key is finding yourself little corner of fandom. Find some people around the same age as you. (For me, I consider ‘same age’ anyone over thirty. There is no upper limit.)

Then basically, once you have this corner, it’s time to say ‘fuck it.’ That might sound harsh, but I refuse to let anyone take away something that makes me happy. Gaming and reading and writing fanfic brings me a ridiculous amount of joy. It’s helped me make friends from all over the world. 

Do not let anyone take away your joy. You have just as much of a right to be in fandom as anyone else. And anon, you’re always welcome in my little corner of fandom!

 Listen, nonnie. I have been in fandom since I
was 14? 15? and I turn 36 tomorrow. This is a thing that has been part
of me for more than half my life. I don’t know how old you are, but when
I was first starting out in fandom, it was considered a grown-up
pursuit. Sure there were places for under 18s, but the people who ran
the mailing lists, wrote the newsgroup FAQs, and paid for archive
hosting fees? All adults. It was… I don’t want to say unusual for
younger people to be in fandom, but it was made clear that you behaved
respectfully in community/adult spaces. Or you pretended (very badly) to
be an adult and the actual adults overlooked it.

It was super helpful to
me as a young-un to have older female fans to look up to, and know that
I could be an adult (whatever the fuck that means) and still have room
for hobbies and interests I loved. It was also helpful, just as a
person, to have a network of older women who were invested in my
well-being but not necessarily involved in my day to day life to turn
to. I am grateful for my fandom aunties, and I hope I can be there for
younger fans the same way.

I feel like a lot of the “Ew adults in fandom”
bullshit comes from younger fans who can barely conceive of reaching 30
as a non-abstract thing, and suffer from deep misapprehensions of what
adult life is like. Yes you have to deal with stupid things like
insurance and taxes, but you also have so much more freedom to enjoy the
things you love. I am also irritated by so many heteronormative
presumptions these people seem to have: you get married, have kids, and
become so incredibly boring nobody wants you in fandom anyways. Not
everybody gets married or has kids, and neither of those things makes
you boring, you make yourself boring. So find yourself some friends to
grow old with, and stick to them like limpets. If you can’t, find new
friends. I have found that in new fandoms, I tend to gravitate towards
people my age and older, even if I don’t know it at the time. If you’re
enthusiastic and kind, that’s honestly all most people require to start
talking. There is room for you in fandom always, no matter what age you
are.                  

and I just wanted to second all of it.

All of this. I myself did not discover fandom until I was just about to turn 30 – I didn’t even know what fandom even was before then, and I had no idea that fandom was supposedly not for people my age. It is a hobby like any other, and you’re not too old to have hobbies. 

There’s a weird kind of ageist misogyny happening in fandom at the moment, where “women in their 30s and older” are seen by some as the enemy or simply as people who shouldn’t be here in fandom, but honestly – in my own experience, some of the best people I’ve met in fandom are older people; and older than me, a lot of the time: people who can bring their own wisdom and life experience to fandom and navigating the social aspect of fandom as well as fanfic/fanart in a way that many younger people (with a few exceptions, of course) do not yet have the wisdom and life experience to do.

I hope Anon sees this whole “you are too old to have the right to be in or enjoy fandom” stuff for what it is – ageism and misogyny. Because let’s face it, we never tell men of a certain age that they’re too old to enjoy whatever hobby they get really into – why should we do this for women? Why should we do this to ourselves?

There is this expectation in our society that women stop caring about their own needs once they started a family. People ask you how you’re doing and you’re expected to tell them how great your kids are doing in school. Your accomplishments are not your own, your partner and your kids are now your accomplishments. 

It’s dangerous bullshit because it literally strips you of your personhood. You’re not a person anymore, you’re a care automaton, designed to care about the happiness of others. 

Don’t fall for this. You don’t stop being your own person with your own interests just because you decided to move in with someone or even popped out a kid. You’re still you. Your interests may change but you don’t have to drop all the things you love and join the “clean house” or “best kid in class” fandom.

Women have lives outside of the care for family business. We still love fandom and we’re not going away.

Bonus: fandom olds can mentor the kids. I remember lying my way into message boards and even if no one offered to beta, I learned How To Community by example.

And it doesn’t stop with kids: @thebyrchentwigges dragged me out of my lurk, and a huge part of how I interact with y’all is due to her encouragement.

Do that.

On Unsolicited Concrit on Fanfics, an editor’s perspective

kedreeva:

redbirdblogs:

So I’ve been watching this conversation play out for a few days, a few months now really, and struggling with how to throw my two cents in. I’m not going to get flowery with metaphors or long winded with anecdotes, y’all. I’m just gonna come right out and say that when you comment with unsolicited constructive criticism on a piece of any creative writing, that criticism is no longer constructive and is inherently wrong. And as an editor, I can tell you explicitly why.

An author is an author. An editor is an editor. There is a hierarchy in that. An editor for an authored work of creative writing performs a different function than an editor for say, a piece of journalistic writing or…I dunno, academic, whatever other kind of professional writing you can think of. If a journalist handed me a piece of work and I was to edit it, I would be beholden to a certain stylebook and would also probably have jurisdiction to make true edits, ie cuts or changes to the text.

But an editor cannot author a piece of creative writing that they are editing. The author, at the end of the day, is the one in charge. The author, at the end of the day, is the one to in fact direct the editing. The author directs the editor, “Please proofread for spelling and grammar,” the term “proof” here denoting a finished manuscript that will not change structurally but may still be in need of fresh eyes to catch errors in grammar, punctuation, or spelling. Or the author requests, “Please read for characterization and/or continuity.” Or even, “Please read for continuity, but I would not like any notes on characterization.” The author can even appear to be giving free rein to an editor and say, “Please send me any revision notes to be discussed.” But over the course of that discussion, it is still the author saying, “With this note, you describe a reaction to a scene that I did not want. How do I make that scene illicit this other reaction that I want from the reader?” And then the editor works to achieve the author’s intended purpose with that creative work, full stop, even if the editor liked the original reaction to the scene in question and thinks it weakens the piece or the character or the statement to change it to something else. It is the author’s work, the author’s purpose, and even in this era of death of the author, at the stage where criticism is helpful, the author has the final say.

As an editor, I can go to an author and say, “I believe the piece would be stronger if we changed x, y, and z, in such-and-such a way,” and the author, as my employer and the one actually authoring the work, can disregard every word I have to say. Realistically speaking, an author can even decide to ignore proofreading line edits and seek a publisher that will ignore its own stylebook to publish something experimental and counter to traditional grammatical correctness. The author is in charge.

Readers and commenters, authors of fan fiction are not your ghost writers. They are in charge of their creative works. And if they have not directed your edits, if they have not come to you and said, “This is what I would like you to look out for while you read this piece for me,” your criticisms can. Not. be. Constructive. Since you. Are not. Constructing. The piece. The author. Is working towards.

Do not give concrit unless something explicitly states, “Concrit welcome.” That is an author asking for help constructing the piece they are working towards, or maybe developing their style, or maybe scoping out their audience so they can think of what to work on next. They can paw through and use or discard criticism at will. But if it is unasked for, it is more than likely unwelcome and by definition unhelpful and unconstructive. That is all.

A note on critics: a critic fulfills a further function and that is to observe a finalized piece of whatever medium and then speak on it in technical terms, they analyze the techniques utilized by the maker and whether they were executed correctly in theory, since you can’t exactly judge “art.” Y’know that episode of whatever cooking show where the man who spoke English as a second language made a savory meat instead of whatever dessert they had assigned for the challenge because he misheard them, but the judges critiqued him on the dish he made so they could grade him on his technical performance? That’s a critic. Critics don’t step in until something is done. A critic cannot author a piece they are critiquing, nor can they edit it, because their job is to analyze it once it is complete, and furthermore a critic not educated and well-versed in the technical wisdom of the medium they are critiquing is worth about as much as an umbrella under water.

As for the audience, guys, I know we’re trying to build a community. I know it’s fandom, I know it’s free, I know it’s supposed to be fun. But even in the case of making things more accessible, don’t hit the author up in public. Shit, if a beta is listed? Hit the beta up! That’s their job anyway, if something’s misspelled or there’s a typo, that’s their job performance lacking, not the author’s. Or if the author has listed another method of contact, do it in private. Do it the way that fosters community, not the way that discourages people from creating. And if there’s no private method of contact, as much as it may suck to hear this, just don’t read that author anymore. There’s a bunch of us working hard towards accessibility. Find us. Prompt us. Or, write what you’d like to see yourself and bring it to us so we can help you make it exactly how you want it to be. After all, we’re editors. And that’s our job: to help you make things Exactly How You Want Them To Be.

if [fanfiction authors] have not come to you and said, “This is what I would like you to look out for while you read this piece for me,”

your criticisms can. Not. be. Constructive. Since you. Are not. Constructing. The piece.

Louder for the people in the back

Also a super good point:

don’t hit the author up in public. Shit, if a beta is listed? Hit the beta up! That’s their job anyway, if something’s misspelled or there’s a typo, that’s their job performance lacking, not the author’s. Or if the author has listed another method of contact, do it in private. Do it the way that fosters community