I would like to invite you all to embrace the ancestors you never knew.
As members of the queer community, we are in a unique space in that our marginalization is not always shared with our biological family. So we are often left with a feeling of separation to our community and our history, and I want to take a moment to encourage you all to try and bridge that gap within your minds. Think of the queer people who came before us as your family, because so many of them lived their lives so that yours could exist in the way it does.
Think of Oscar Wilde standing in court admitting his love and rejecting the idea that is was shameful in front of his peers. Think of Magnus Hirschfeld collecting data and research so that he could find a path to freedom paved with facts. Think of Marsha P. Johnson, giving out cookies to other sex workers and transgender people on the street and her rage as she threw that shot glass and ignited a revolution.
These people are your family, they are your history, and they built a world so that you could live in it. You may not be related by blood but you are related by history, their lives are irreversibly connected to ours and I encourage you all to take time to hold that in your minds as you move forward today.
Today is the Transgender Day of Remembrance. Honor those killed in anti-trans acts of violence; mourn the lights in our community that have gone out; say their names and tell their stories; and vow to fight for those still with us.
On Saturday, November 17th, the Ontario Progressive Conservative (PC) party voted to pass a resolution that would deny recognizing gender identity theory, during a three-day convention in Toronto.
PC Member of Provincial Parliament (MPP) Tanya Granic Allen proposed the resolution, which reads, “Be it resolved that an Ontario PC Party recognizes “gender identity theory” for what it is, namely, a highly controversial, unscientific “liberal ideology”; and, as such, that an Ontario PC Government will remove the teaching and promotion of “gender identity theory” from Ontario schools and its curriculum.”
The motion follows the PC’s decision to rescind the updated 2015 sexual education curriculum introduced under the former Liberal government, and reinstate the curriculum from 1998, which excludes topics such as gender identity and online safety.
Since the passing of this vote, numerous members of the transgender community have spoken out to condemn the PC’s decision, advocating for policies that protect the rights and safety of trans and gender diverse peoples.
I just. I don’t like this view of “millennials vs Gen Z”. This is NOT supposed to be a competition of who got fucked over the most and who’s “actually fighting back”.
Millennials are fighting back just by surviving in a job market where the minimum wage doesn’t cover the living cost. Millennials are awesome at “killing” the diamond, golfing and napkins industries. Millennials are using the internet to make sure things that corporations want to keep in the dark are exposed. They’re open LGBTQIA-friendly business, they’re supporting each other with online donations so everyone can survive this shitty economy.
And the Gen Z kids? The Gen Z kids are rad. I remember a post about something like the millennials making a collective promise to never become a disenchanted generation that only criticizes the next one and I want to point out that this “millennials vs gen z” trend is trying to do exactly that: split us apart. Prevent millennials from being the older siblings that teach the younger siblings to throw a good punch and turn them into the annoyed adult complaining about “those kids” on their lawn. We are the two groups that grew in a connected world of information. We are two very unique generations.
I think that it’s our duty for us millennials, as a disrespected, underpaid, very angry generation to stand up by our younger siblings, and fight together the oppressive systems that brought us all to this point.
They’re trying very hard to pit Millennials and Gen Z against each other because I honestly think they’re terrified of what the two will accomplish together.
The Trump administration is working on a plan to severely narrow the legal definition of gender, according to a report in The New York Times on Sunday.
The proposed policy, according to the Department of Health and Human Services, would define gender “on a biological basis that is clear, grounded in science, objective and administrable,” meaning it would define gender as either male or female as determined by genitalia at birth. Any dispute about an individual’s gender would require genetic testing. This would have major repercussions for the transgender and gender nonconforming communities ― particularly in regard to health care.
Since the Trump plan was revealed, protesters have been gathering online ― often using the hashtag #WontBeErased ― and in person around the country. On Sunday night, several hundred people gathered in Washington Square Park in New York City.
But there is still a lot of work to be done to make sure the trans and gender nonconforming communities are protected.
You’ve likely seen people coming out in droves to encourage others to vote; it’s one of the most important things you can do as an American. Casting ballots at the federal, state and local levels affects transgender rights. Check Vote.org for ways to promote turnout in your area. Call your friends and family members nearby to go to the polls with you, and remind those in other states to vote too.
Educate yourself
Being an ally isn’t just patting your trans or nonbinary friends on the back or retweeting them occasionally. It’s about respect and fighting for their rights. The first step to being a good ally is educating yourself on the basics — knowing someone’s preferred pronouns, avoiding stereotypes and learning what policies in government directly affect the trans and gender nonconforming communities. You can find a primer on those issues and more here.
Promote helpful resources and trans-led organizations
While many “prominent national organizations are not led by trans or nonbinary people,” many are and need help on both the national and local levels. Some of those organizations, according to Out magazine are: Audre Lorde Project, Casa Ruby, Familia: Trans Queer Liberation Movement, Fierce, Organizacion Latina de Trans en Texas, Southerners on New Ground, Sylvia Rivera Law Project, Trans Latin@ Coalition, Trans Law Center and Trans Lifeline. More comprehensive lists can be found at the Trans Justice Funding Project and Borealis Philanthropy’s Fund for Trans Generations.
Sharing numbers like the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255), the Trevor Project at 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386) and Trans Lifeline at 877-565-8860 can be immensely helpful for those in crisis.
Share the work of trans activists and journalists
Groups like Lambda Legal, the ACLU and the Transgender Law Center are legal organizations that ofter extensive information about trans rights and policies that affect them. Keep an eye on their social media pages to see if they’re holding events you can take part in or to share their messaging.
Additionally, sharing the work of trans and gender nonconforming journalists helps spread the messaging being put out by the community for the community. Too often, work about the trans community is written by people who are not members of that community ― which can be completely OK, as long as it’s done correctly. This piece in Them does an excellent job of explaining the problem with media organizations not hiring trans reporters to cover trans issues.
We really have harmed a whole generation of trans and gnc children by failing to communicate how serious a decision binding actually is, how there’s no ACTUALLY safe way to bind, how it permeneantly damages the body, how it can make top surgery more difficult in the future. I don’t think we should be keeping trans kids from binding (we let kids do all sorts of things they’re really not old enough to understand the potential consequences of) but we owe them the ability to make informed decisions at LEAST
So this is definitely an important conversation to have, but can you point me at some reading about “permanent damage”? I might just be lucky, but I had zero lasting effects from binding. I’d like to at least read up on it so I can have this conversation and be more specific than “be careful.”
Of course! I can’t easily source right now but I am more than happy to provide further info when I am not at work and on mobile. Unfortunately, like a lot of trans healthcare, a lot of what we know about binding is anecdotal and word of mouth. BUT permeneant damage can include:
-Musculoskeletal damage. Binders are indiscriminate compression tools; they can’t flatten the chest without applying pressure every other anatomical structure underneath including the spine, ribs, lungs and heart. Many people who bind experience chronic back pain, shoulder pain, sharp stabbing chest pains, permeneantly decreased lung capacity, literal spine deformation, etc etc.
-A continuation of the above but the ribs are actually jointed bones. Their ability to flex is absolutely vital to their ability to withstand trauma and protect your vital organs. Imagine the damage that would be done to your elbow if your bent your arm to full flexion and then tightly bound it closed like that, for six, eight, twelve hours per day, every day, for weeks or months or years. And you don’t NEED a functioning arm to live!
-Tissue atrophy. Forcing chest tissue to lay in an unnatural way can and will change the way that tissue looks, even to risk of atrophy. Some people who bind and only moderately dislike the way their chest looks find that they HATE the way it looks after binding for a period of time. Tissue atrophy can also make top surgery more difficult in the future, and increase the risk of complications like nerve damage.
-Worsened dysphoria. Once someone starts binding and becomes accustomed to seeing themselves with a flat chest, it can be much more difficult to see yourself without one, and dysphoria that much more intolerable. You can imagine the psychological feedback loop of binding more in response.
The typical safety measures passed around about binding are harm REDUCTION measures and should not be advertised as making binding “safe.” Binding is not safe. It is a very serious health decision with long term consequences and should be treated as such. That doesn’t mean it’s the wrong decision, but it should not be considered the DEFAULT decision for chest dysphoria which is frankly how it’s currently treated.
I went to the Philadelphia Trans Health Conference and went to a workshop held by a chiropractor who works with trans men (as well as being a trans man himself), so I’m going to pass on his advice to people who bind:
Stretch your chest, shoulders, and back everyday (at least)
This is a passive stretch where you place a foam roller at the bottom of your spine (to support your hips and lower back), and lifts your shoulders off of the ground, with your arms on the ground to balance you.
This stretch is meant to be held for a few minutes, open up your chest, and aid your everyday posture.
You probably don’t own a foam roller, he advised to wrap a towel or blanket very tightly and tied as a substitute. I use a layer of bed foam rolled up with two belts to keep it rolled. Whatever you use, it ought to have a bit of give and it needs to lift your shoulders off the ground.
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This is an active stretch. Stand in front of a doorway with your feet together (if the door way was not there, your toes would be touching the wall, not crossing through it). When you lift your arms up and put them against the wall, your feet, hips, and arms should all be in line with each other (your arms should not be behind you with your feet and hips in the doorway).
Make a “W” shape with your arms against the wall so that your elbows are the closest part of your arm to the ground, and take one small step forward.
You should feel a pull in your lower shoulders, but it should be comfortable to hold. Donot over stretch, you shouldn’t be leaning your weight into your arms to balance, your weight should be balanced by your legs. Do not judge yourself and think you are doing yourself a favor by thinking that you ought to have a bigger step. Sure, you could overstretch today, but you need to be able to do this tomorrow too! Hold this for 10-15 seconds. (Yet again. Do. Not. Overstretch.)
Bring your feet back together, and do it the other foot. There will probably be one foot that is easier than the other, stretch that step more often than the less difficult step.
Bring your feet together and bring your elbows up so that your upper arms are parallel to the ground and your elbow forms a 90° angle with your forearms. Take your small step forward and hold for 10-15 seconds and switch feet.
Now reach your arms up as high as you can. It doesn’t have to be much higher than the last stretch, if that is as high as you can go, then that’s it. If you can’t reach higher than the last stretch, put your arms down at your sides and then lift your arms up from your sides and put them against the wall (sorry he didn’t include a picture of this one in the slides, message me if this is unclear.)
Your goal is to be able to reach your arms up like in the picture so that you form a Y shape. Step forward and hold for 10-15 seconds, then switch feet.
His advice was to do this stretch as often as you use the bathroom at home (shoot for 3-5 times a day).
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The next two stretchs don’t have pictures! If you can do these stretches with ease and want a more intense version, try using dumbbells and incorporating it into your workouts.
If you’ve ever done snow angels? Put your heels, butt, shoulders, and arms up against a wall (as much of your body as you possibly can should be touching the wall) and lift your arms up as high as you can go like you are making a snow angel.
Alternatively, lay down on the ground instead of up against a wall if you need to work your way up to lifting your arms above your head.
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Again, with your body up against the wall, but this time with your arms in front of you, bring your arms up like Frankenstein’s monster, so that they are as high as your shoulders. Hold this for a few seconds.
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After trying these stretchs, it’ll probably be clear where your range of motion is most limited. For me, the most useful stretches are the W and 90° angle doorway stretch and foam roller stretch, bc I have the most trouble with my lower shoulders and chest. Try to maintain your range of motion where you have it, and use these stretches to improve your range of motion where you are limited.
There’s also TransTape, which runs different risks, primarily with skin irritation and possibly damage. There’s no 100% guaranteed safe way to bind, but it may be worth trying both methods.
In theory, I’d think alternating methods, assuming one doesn’t run into major issues right away with either, might even be helpful to reduce longterm risks, but I wouldn’t know if using a binder after binding with tape might be bad for irritated skin (due to sweat or heat or whatever??) so if anyone has any experience with that it would be appreciated? If not, though, I’ve wondered if alternating could give the ribs a rest while taping and the skin a rest while using a binder so neither is under as much constant strain? Do be careful as that’s purely theoretical, of course.
Reblogging for the info on binding/taping and also bc I need the stretches on my blog again.
Also adding: I’ve heard another good tip from my physiotherapist for posture and chest-muscle-stretching! Depending on how comfortable you are with your body though, you might want to wait with that until you’ve had top surgery because at least for the first one you will be pushing your chest out prominently so keep that in mind.
Now, for the first one you’ll need a broomstick or something similar. It should be a long stick (a bit longer than your arm-span ideally) light enough you could easily lift it over your head. Hold it horizontally on front of your body, each hand on an end, arms prallel, start with the distance between your hands as wide as you can manage.
Keep your arms stretched (no bent elbows for the whole exercise!) and lift the stick up. Over your head. Again, make sure your arms are parallel, this is important! (If you’re unsure about this, maybe you can ask another person to watch or possibly you can do this in front of a mirror) Work on being able to even move your arms over your head and behind your head, to the mid of your back like that. (stretch #6 gives you a pretty good picture) Keep your elbows straight the whole time, this is important! (If you can’t keep your elbows straight, try widening your grip and don’t try forcing moving the stick somewhere you’re not yet ready to move it – as wellgreathereiam said, overstretching is Bad and Not Helpful) Then, move the stick back to the front of you, over your head again, parallel arms, no bent elbows. It’s all in the shoulders.
Eventually, if you managed that, you can move your hands closer together when the stick is in front of you again. Try gradually moving them closer over time.
I know it sounds complicated and needs some work to actually manage (and it might not be an exercise for everyone anyway and that’s okay! wellgreathereiam has awesome stretches you can try as well!) but at least for me it does wonders for my chest and my posture. Seriously, I can feel my chest open and my posture getting better for hours afterwards.
The other advice I got from my therapist is: push ups. But when you’re doing them, don’t worry about keeping your hands close together or apart, more importantly do try to make sure you “push your shoulder blades together” each time you lower your body. If you don’t quite have the strength to do this exercise on the ground, try a more vertical position, e.g. don’t place your hands on the ground but a wall instead (not entirely vertical if possible)
or a towel radiator, I suppose a chair or desk or whatever would work just fine as well, and just do the push up there, that’s fine as well! This is not about the strength in your arms after all, this is supposed to be about your shoulder blades and opening your chest.
I want to make it clear first that I do not want your donation.
I use the term queer because it is more inclusive than lgbt, outside of lgbt excluding anyone who just isn’t included in that tiny acronym I have found it very white-centric, and to be honest to the point of erasure. In one of our more recent articles we discussed the bate, and transgender people in native american communities. And in that research I found many other cultures that had and used terms that were different than transgender, or gay. And this is not the first time that white people have tried to label other communities and it is never a good thing, so I am not comfortable overriding any label they gave themselves, and queer is very purposefully non-specific, whereas LGBT could be one of four things queer is any sexual or gender identity that strays outside what society considers “normal” and does not attempt to label anyone, just say that their label is outside of what society may have expected.
And it is my slur to reclaim for myself and my art and it is no ones job to police how I decide to use it.
Also I know what dog whistle terminology you are using here, and yes, I do include asexual and aromantic people in my articles, and I do not care if you do not like that. Asexual and aromantic people have a history as well and they deserve to be able to learn about it.
And now I want to explain why I do not want your donation.
This is my project, and it is run along with my amazing business partner Grace, but in the end it is mine. I choose in which direction it goes and what I write about, and I am not going to be pressured by money into changing my mind. There is a reason I have made the decisions I have, I am on patreon so I am very firmly my own boss, my patrons are there to support my project, and I love all of them for it, but they do not get to decide where this project goes. I do. And if they don’t like it I understand them withdrawing their support but will not change my art to avoid that. And you clearly feel very entitled to decide where my art is going, and I want to say-as kindly as possible- I don’t want your support. I don’t want support that is an attempt at control, and there is no amount of money you could give me to sell out the asexual/aromantic community.
So go support some other project, because you can’t control what happens here.
The national conversation about trans identity and community tends to focus on the newest crop of trans youth. But why don’t we hear about older trans and gender-nonconforming individuals who manage to overcome the at times seemingly impossible odds and survive — and thrive — in America?
Photographer Jess Dugan’s latest project To Survive on This Shore aims to bring attention to those voices. For over five years, Dugan and social worker Vanessa Fabbre have traveled across the United States photographing and interviewing older trans and gender-nonconforming individuals to ensure their stories, largely untold, are finally shared. Dugan told BuzzFeed News in an interview that she views the project (now a published book, released this week) as, first and foremost, an “educational and activist mission.”
“Prior to starting this project, I heard from several younger trans people that they had never seen images of older transgender people and that they had no roadmap for what their life might look like going forward,” she said. “I wanted to create this project for them, as well as to record and validate the experiences of older transgender people, many of whom are directly responsible for the world we live in today.”
Since it’s sadly relevant, a PSA for anyone attending a Jewish funeral or visiting a home where they are sitting shiva: no flowers, please. We understand that’s your tradition and won’t be offended, but respecting our traditions is a better gift of care.
From the link: “What You Can Do–Many of you may be wondering how to express condolences to a Jewish friend and what types of sympathy gifts or items are appropriate to send or bring to a shiva according to Jewish customs and traditions. There are many ways to support bereaved friends and loved ones of the Jewish faith who are grieving. During the mourning period, you can provide food and meals, but it may be advisable to first check on the dietary and food requirements of the shiva home and consider sending kosher products if the family is Orthodox. Visiting a shiva (‘making a shiva call’) is another thoughtful gesture. In addition, sending a condolence basket containing fruit, chocolate or nuts, a sympathy card or planting a tree in Israel in memory of the loved one are common ways to show your support.”
Queer Fiction Writer 